You’re Not Nonchalant; You Just Don’t Know How to Express Yourself
“By fostering a culture of empathy and understanding, we can encourage students to share their experiences and seek support, overall creating a more supportive and inclusive community. When students feel safe to express their struggles without fear or judgment, it fosters an environment of empathy and understanding.”
As a student in the graduating class of 2025, I’m a firsthand witness to the silent struggles that many of my peers have to endure. The pressure to maintain a composed and carefree facade often masks the reality of their mental health challenges. I’ve seen a lot of my peers crack under that pressure, and I feel it should never get to that point. With 20.17% of youth (aged 12-17) reporting at least one major depressive episode in the past year, it's clear that this issue is not only widespread, but also deeply impactful. The romanticization of nonchalance across the media exacerbates this problem, making it harder for teens to express their true feelings. This article aims to shed light on the hidden battles faced by students and the urgent need for more open and supportive conversations about mental health.
The definition of a nonchalant person is someone who's relaxed and calm in a way that shows that they do not care or are not worried about something, if someone’s nonchalant about another person’s pain or trouble, the word has a definite negative connotation.
What nonchalance can look like in an individual:
Dismissing others concerns about a specific behavior you portray, and writing it off as a joke in some cases
Dismissing your concerns about a specific behavior others portray, and writing it off as a joke in some cases
Acting calm in situations where it’s appropriate to present anger or sadness
Refusing intimacy and vulnerability
These are just a few examples of how nonchalance can look. Social media, though, always takes things a step further. Older trends, where people would comment “simp” or “sus” under TikTok videos of people showing each other genuine love, care, and affection, were common no matter your age, gender, or race; someone was going to comment something shaming you for showing your loved one affection. If you gave your girlfriend some flowers? Simp. You gave your bro a hug? Sus. People have used social media to denormalize love and romanticize nonchalance, but how will that affect younger generations?
Stigma surrounding mental health can prevent many from seeking the help they need. In school, academic achievement and extracurricular success is considered a top priority, which leaves little room for addressing well-being. At CSH, our teachers can be more understanding and supportive than a common NYC public/charter school teacher; this is assuming a student is comfortable enough confiding in their teacher or allowing their teacher to support them. This can create an environment with a sense of isolation and alienation, where some students may feel they must handle their struggles alone. Additionally, the fear of being judged or misunderstood by your peers and adults around you can discourage a student from really opening up about personal issues with mental health.
By fostering a culture of empathy and understanding, we can encourage students to share their experiences and seek support, overall creating a more supportive and inclusive community. When students feel safe to express their struggles without fear or judgment, it fosters an environment of empathy and understanding. Keeping open conversations about mental health can lead to better awareness and education, helping peers and educators recognize when someone might need support. As a student, I know how hard it is to uphold the standards and expectations of the people around you; whether that be your friends expecting you to be daring or care-free, or your teachers expecting you to be well-behaved or responsible. Sometimes those standards make it harder for students to express themselves. Ultimately, by prioritizing mental health, we build a community where everyone feels valued and supported.
Of course while keeping conversations about mental health open is crucial, some argue against it, often suggesting that putting too much focus on mental health awareness could potentially lead to the over diagnosis and pathologizing of normal adolescent behavior(regarding normal behavior abnormal), making claims that sexual minorities are often overdiagnosed as bipolar and depression is often overdiagnosed in youth(which this claim can be countered with a simple idea: if mental health’s becoming a more open discussion, why wouldn’t younger people start receiving more frequent diagnosis?) Even the New York Times reported on how “Teens Turn to TikTok in Search of a Mental Health Diagnosis.” Making claims that social media – specifically TikTok – has a role to play in the pathologizing of normal adolescent behavior. This can lead to children and teenagers feeling as if they’re “over dramatic” or “going through a phase” when they could be experiencing life changing stages, yet keeping it to themself. Imagine how dangerous that could be?
To strike this balance, schools can integrate mental health education – like CSH’s circle or advisory bonding activities(Kahoot, board games, etc.) – into the existing curriculum, ensuring that it complements, and doesn’t compete with, academic and extracurricular activities. I can’t deny that sometimes people might not have what they say they do, but I believe it’s crucial for our community to be more open and honest when discussing mental health, regardless of our personal opinion. This isn’t just about providing support for those in need, it’s about creating an environment where students feel seen, heard, and valued.
To the nonchalant people reading this:
I understand why you wouldn’t want to express yourself too much to your peers and teachers, you’re probably scared of being judged or maybe you don’t care enough to form that deep bond with certain people, but that is how you end up misunderstood and misjudged anyway. Preferring to hurt others before they hurt you creates a cycle of people who hurt each other, and we are all essentially doing that when we choose not to care about the next person's emotions, especially when that person cares for you or is trying to express their emotions to you. Also, remember that our teachers are older and sometimes they don’t really understand the undertones and the little things we do, so when it comes to your emotions try to be more serious.