Letters to My Younger Self
You have grown and transformed so much. And yes, you’ve experienced a lot of ups and downs, but every single one has helped shape you into the person you are today.
And so, when your younger self asks “are you proud of me,” I hope your answer is yes.
I want you to close your eyes and imagine your younger self.
Imagine them across from you, gazing up at the person you are today. Admiring you for how far you’ve come, while also simultaneously wondering why you aren’t dressed in astronaut or firefighter attire like they’d dreamed.
There are no words spoken between you, but one question lingers in the air as their curious young eyes take you in:
“Are you proud of me?”
Somewhere between then and now you traded in dreams for real life expectations; somewhere between then and now you lost your innocence; somewhere between then and now you stopped being a kid.
And yet, the answer to that question lies in words that have never been said — the words of advice that you would give your younger self if you only knew then what you know now.
These are my words.
Dear 0 day old me,
You won’t be able to read this at all but congratulations! Today is the day you were born. You have two loving parents, and a brother named Emerson. Life is going to be a rollercoaster, so buckle up and enjoy the ride.
Love,
Your older self
Dear 3 year old me,
As you read this I hope that your twinkle toes don’t take away your focus. Right now, you’re beginning to understand the world around you and all of the things in it.
You love My Little Pony and Littlest Pet Shop so much that your lunchbox is dedicated to them both. School is one of your favorite places. This year you’re going to be raising baby ducks, making friends, and going on odd adventures.
Right now you want to be a veterinarian, and in fact, you’ll even dress up as one for career day. However, as you get older, your aspirations will shift completely away from medicine and into law. Now, we want to become a lawyer and then work in Congress!
Your best friends right now are Jad and Christian, but you won’t see them again after you start middle school a year early. Don’t worry though, I still have the heart Jad made us.
Emerson is still a pain in the butt, and although you’re going to slightly drift away from him, you guys are still thick as thieves.
This is also the year you’re going to start playing softball. Years of spending your weekends at Emerson’s little league games would go on for over another decade, but it was finally your turn. You’re going to play for the “Angels,” and you’re going to figure out one thing:
You are competitive.
You’re also finally going to try playing soccer in a co-ed league, but you’re not going to like it and you’ll end up focusing on softball instead.
When you go to Puerto Rico, be careful and wear a helmet. Sadly, I know that you won’t. You’ll learn that lesson by cracking my head on Grandma and Grandpa’s fence. You’re going to be in a lot of pain and need to go to the hospital (but be unable to), but Mami’s got you. The scar on your head will become less apparent as you get older, and you’ll continue riding bikes.
Your love for M&M’s will also be magnified as you get older. We still eat plenty to this day.
Your trips to Aunt Ginny’s house on Long Island will come to an end in about a year, but you’re still going to think about them all the time. The pool, the RV where you’d play Apple to Apples with your cousin, the Carvel Ramekins that they no longer sell, and everything else in between.
But it’s okay, because you don’t have to worry about any of this yet. Keep on being a kid.
Love,
Your older self
Dear 9 year old me,
A lot of things are going to change for you this year.
You’re going to start middle-school at Emerson’s school and have to start from scratch, but you’ll be just fine. In fact, you’re going to meet Penelope in school this year, and we’re still best friends to this day.
This is also the year when you’re going to start playing basketball on a team. Mr. Thomas is going to be one of the greatest coaches you’ve ever had, so much so that you and the other girls on the team will spend four years eating lunch and hanging out in his classroom. You’re going to fall in love with the game, and you guys are going to go to the championship every single year, but you’re not going to take the first place trophy home.
You and Penelope are going to eat a lot of pizza together when you go out for lunch, but soon enough you’ll start enjoying other cuisines.
And, after years of begging, you’re finally getting a dog this year. You’re going to name her “Jelly,” and she’s truly going to become your companion. Be prepared for years of Jelly attempting to take over your bed.
Papi is going to retire this year too, and you couldn’t be happier. The rides in the batmobile will come to an end, but you won’t mind because life is about the person behind the wheel, not the wheel itself.
School is going to be very easy for you, and you’ll end up enjoying all of your classes. Adjusting to the trimester system with classes switching after every term will take you a little bit of time, but ultimately you’re going to love it more than anything.
Love,
Your older self
Dear 13 year old me,
Welcome to high school.
The COVID-19 pandemic will still be raging on when your freshman year begins, so all of your classes will be virtual. You won’t really know anyone, but you’ll start engaging in a lot of activities to keep you busy.
You’re going to join debate, and the basketball team, and continue doing both for years to come. In fact, because you joined debate you’re going to meet one of your best friends: Emilie Davis.
Emilie is your complete opposite, but you guys are going to stick together like gum to the bottom of a shoe. She’s your ride or die and you guys would do anything for each other. When things get tough, she’ll be there for you; when you get school lunch dumped on you, she’ll be there for you; through thick and thin, she’ll be there for you.
High school also marks the start of your true investment into your grades, because you only have one goal: Go to a top college.
Basketball is going to be one of your favorite activities, and also the activity that causes you the most injuries. You’re going to get a concussion in 10th grade that will keep you out of school for almost 3 months. It’s going to be tough. And in the months following your injury you’re going to be in and out of medical office’s trying to figure out all of the medical mystery’s your concussion caused in your body. During this time you’re going to come to school, in fact, you’ll even fight with your mom just to come to school. Until, one morning, Mr. Noah sends you home for good until you heal.
Your friends are going to visit you often, and dinners at your house will become a tradition, especially when your mom makes what your friend Charisma calls, “bistec steak.” Your relationships with them will be the greatest you’ve ever had.
The accomplishments that you make in the first two years of high school will fuel your passion and drive, but remember to have fun sometimes.
Love,
Your older self
Dear 17 year old me,
After your senior year season ends, you’re going to stop playing basketball because you want to focus on yourself, and you’re not on a collegiate level anyways. Your final season is also going to end with a sprained ankle, which was the last way you wanted to go out.
Surprisingly enough (or unsurprisingly to you), we’re going to end up attending an Ivy League school. All of your efforts were worth it.
Along the way you’re going to redefine your relationship with school in a positive way, which you probably don’t believe at all. And, you’re also going to find your voice and cause a lot of change through journalism.
Your high school years are going to be interesting to say the least, but everything is going to turn out just fine. In fact, you’re not going to have any regrets about how things turned out, because the biggest lesson that you learned is that some things are simply out of your control.
Now it’s senior year, and the end of your time in high school is quickly approaching. This is where my words end though. Because I don’t know what this final month holds for us, but I do know that everything is going to turn out just fine like it always does.
Love,
Your older self
Think about that earlier question, “are you proud of me?” and think about the journey you’ve taken.
You have grown and transformed so much. And yes, you’ve experienced a lot of ups and downs, but every single one has helped shape you into the person you are today.
And so, when your younger self asks “are you proud of me,” I hope your answer is yes.
Because true pride exists in achievement, and while you may have various accolades and praises, it is growth that is your number one achievement.
Your younger self couldn’t be prouder. They are you.
So don’t forget the dreams that make you who you are because they are the foundation of your journey.
Hold onto the good, and learn from the bad.
Embrace the future, because it’s the only thing you can look forward to.
And, above all, love your younger self.
Love,
Your present self