For My Mom
For my mom, the woman who I adore and look up to. The woman who I wish to one day become — my mother.
Mine and my mother’s relationship hasn’t always been the way it is today. We have gone through many stages where we were super close, and then distant, and then arguing, and then more We’ve been through it all in the last 18 years. But I wouldn’t change it because if none of this happened, our relationship wouldn’t be how it is now.
My mom grew up in a small town in Mexico, with a big family of 10! Because there were so many siblings, money was tight. My mom would have to sell food and gold with her mother in order to get more money in order to support her family. Although her childhood wasn’t the best, “I was happy and I wouldn’t trade it for anything,” she tells me. Growing up was hard in Mexico, it wasn't easy: “My parents did the impossible for us.” My mother idolizes her parents. I asked her about her relationship with her mother growing up. She said, “We were close but back then it was a different time so there were things we couldn't talk about.”
She compared our relationship to hers and her mothers. We are very open with each other and I go to my mom for everything. I can't imagine a life without my mother, and I hope in the future to always be near her but this isn’t the case for my mom. My mom came to New York once she turned 20 with her sister; they left their family behind to come work and help their parents pay off their debt. Ever since then, they’ve never had the chance to return and see them. “It hurts me that I wasn't able to go see my parents and I talk to my mom very often but it's not the same,'' she tells me. She planned on eventually returning home, but things didn’t work out that way. She met my dad, and they fell in love and had me two years later. She could no longer return because she had her family here.
I love my mother with all my heart and she never fails to fill our home with laughter. Even during this interview we couldn't help but laugh. Of course I had to ask the most important question ever. Who's your favorite? “Both of you,” She says. Typical response. My little sister and I always argue about who’s the favorite but, deep down I know it's me. “Oso,” she says a couple seconds later. She chose my dog over my sister and I. My mom and I both have the same humor; we make jokes that will have us dying meanwhile my dad doesn’t find us funny. One of my favorite things about my mom is her laugh. She has this really loud laugh that is so distinct, no matter if you are across the house, you’ll hear that laugh and know it’s hers.
Unfortunately our relationship hasn't always been this way. When I was in middle school my mom and I were always arguing over everything. We couldn’t see eye to eye. I had never been so distant from my mom. At the time I had started a new school where everyone had already known each other since elementary school. I hated it because I didn’t fit in with any group, everyone had their cliques and I just wanted to move schools. I never wanted to go to that school anyways so I wanted to leave it and go with my friends, but my parents didn’t see that. I didn’t want to tell them why I hated my school because I felt left out. This caused many arguments between my mom and me. She wanted to understand why I disliked that school so much but I just couldn’t tell her. I began skipping school which caused even more problems between my mother and I. Constant yelling and arguing — we could not even hold a regular conversation. When I brought this up to my mom she laughed, looking back at this, it was so stupid but funny to reminisce on.
When I think about it now, I wonder if one reason my mom was so frustrated was because of her childhood. She was not able to attend high school because of her family's financial situation. So in her eyes I was taking my education for granted, which I was — all because I didn’t ‘fit in.’
When I asked her about her opinion on our relationship now, she says: “I think we are in a good place, sometimes I wish you would tell me more things.” I don’t know why but I had always assumed she just didn’t want to hear about my little ‘teenage girl problems,’ so hearing her say this made me feel so cared for. I don’t think she knows how much I love her. I’m not a very affectionate person and I am still learning how to show my love towards others more, so I’d hate to have the thought that she doesn’t think I love her as much as I do. I look up to her. I enjoy our little “mommy-daughter dates,” even when we aren’t doing anything. I like spending time with her. I admire her strength and every obstacle she has overcome and I hope to one day become the same woman she is.
After hearing her story and how our relationship has developed, I asked her for some advice. “Enjoy your life, especially right now that you are young. Life goes by quickly so enjoy it now that you can and don’t have responsibilities.”
I am so grateful for my mom and everything she has done for me. No matter what obstacles she faces she always comes out with her head high and a smile on her face. She has never made anything seem impossible for me. She’s never failed me. I hope to be that person one day: strong, reliable, hopeful, and beautiful. All qualities that my mom holds. I can’t wait to grow into the person she is today and make her proud.