Navigating the Maze of Teenage Love
My belief that love is a journey worth traveling, even if it involves the possibility of heartbreak, remains unchanged.
In the chaotic environment of growing up, one aspect stands out as both a source of joy and heartache – teenage love. Teenagers find love to be a fascinating journey with a wide range of feelings, from thrilling highs to bewildering lows.
The teenage years are an explosion for self-discovery, personal development, and frequent heartbreak as they navigate the maze of developing emotions and love connections. Individuals who walk through this path of love find that each experience has its own story along with its own lesson. Teens go through a wild journey that shapes not only their perception of love but also their sense of individuality, from the embarrassing first crush to the storm of feelings that follow the first love. By highlighting the different phases of young people falling in love, it will reveal the commonalities and quirks that characterize this life-changing experience. Where every heartache is a lesson, and every beautiful moment is a step on the path to self-realization.
I asked a number of questions to four different seniors (Avery Ramos, Laila Ayala, Charisma Santa, and Alex Narvaez) in an effort to gather their viewpoints of teenage love.
What is the value of relationships and what do you want out of it?
At a young age many people might not understand the value of relationships or what they want out of them. This doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships, it can also apply to friends, family, teachers, or even your relationship with yourself. Relationships shouldn't be one sided. They should be beneficial to both parties.
When I spoke to Avery, he said he valued having a support system. Having someone who loves him for him and will always be there no matter what. He wants to gain a deeper connection with someone and build that connection with their family.
Lalia also values support; she believes that if the relationship isn't beneficial or making you feel down it's time to leave it behind.
Alex also said that it is important having support, having someone that will stick with you in hard times. Someone who wants the best for you.
Charisma values the lessons you learn. They are all meant to teach you a lesson. Relationships provide a new perspective on life or in a specific area in your life.
I think at the end of the day, it comes down to not being alone. Like the others said, having a support system. Having someone you want to tell the little details too, or the big moments, and even the sad ones. Some people like being alone and that's okay. Just understand what you need from yourself, because even through those heartaches and desires, you are what you have.
Is there pressure that comes with being in a relationship in highschool?
In highschool there is a lot of pressure from parents, academics, teachers, and just kids in general. Getting into a relationship in high school adds another level of difficulty, as outside variables like family relationships, long-distance obstacles, and other influences can have a significant impact on the functioning of the relationship. In this setting, the interaction of different outside factors can mold and occasionally strain a high school relationship.
Avery says that it's easier for drama to be thrown into your relationship. People can spread rumors or tell you things that are not true.
Laila never felt that there was outside pressure but the one she put on her relationship. While she and her partner are in a long distance relationship, she finds that any issues that happen are happening internally and those issues just need to be communicated.
Alex believes that school work and extracurricular activities can interfere with the time you have with your partner and being young. Considering that you can spend more time with your partner as an adult than you could when you are younger and could only see them at school or other constrained settings.
Charisma believes there's no pressure unless you put pressure on the relationship. If you care about what others think, that's where issues start to form.
Similarly to Avery, I think that it's easier for people to be involved in your relationship. People these days feed off of drama and some people are just not genuine. If you can easily ignore what people say then you’ll be fine. But not everyone is like that.
Where does toxicity in relationships come from?
The first representation of love is from your parents. Sadly, they might not always provide the best model. Growing up in a toxic environment may influence what you think love looks like. Social media is also another factor that heavily influences toxicity in relationships. Now, we see everything on social media, and we automatically think it's correct. Sometimes, we even look up to certain couples based on what they show on social media. Toxicity in relationships can also come from insecurities. Many factors can contribute to a toxic relationship.
Avery said that toxicity has become normalized and he thinks it roots from insecurities. But he says you can be insecure and not toxic; you just need to communicate with your partner and set boundaries with each other.
Lalia also believes that toxicity has become normalized and that it can root from insecurities but it can also come from not having a good image of what love should look like. She believes that when there's an issue in a relationship, teens tend to make it a bigger issue than it needs to be because of the ideas we create internally.
Alex believes that what we see can influence a toxic relationship, that tv, movies, social media all can impact relationships.
Charisma feels like it's just our generation, as if we created a new love language in the form of toxicity, and that this has become how we love. She also believes social media has affected everything.
I completely agree with Charisma. It is honestly just our generation. But that can also just root from how we were raised. Not everyone knows how to show love and maybe they think the way they are showing the best.
Do you think it's possible to rekindle love you think you're losing?
In the moment of hurt it may seem impossible to rekindle the love you think you’re losing. However, it is possible to rekindle love, but it will take work, communication, and a determination to improve the relationship on both sides.
Avery said you just have to find another way to love that person and appreciate them more. If everything stays the same then that love can be lost cause it gets boring or each other's needs aren't meant. It can be easy to lose the excitement in the relationship.
Laila said that, depending on the situation, if a couple breaks up, they can find each other again, as long as there's some desire then anything could work.
Alex said it's possible, but it may be difficult. If you see the other person is willing to fight then you can regain that trust, and those memories you guys made, but it starts from that person trying that never tried in the first place.
Charisma said it depends on the person. You can forgive, but it depends on your morals.
I think it depends on the situation and the person. Depending on what happened, depending if you can forgive, depending if you can move on. But once you choose that you'll have to let it go. It can be hard to move on, to forgive but make sure that you communicate, express what you are feeling, take that time with your partner, spend time with them if you want it to work.
Do you feel like love is worth it when there's a chance of heartbreak?
We don't know the outcome of anything in life, but isn't that what makes it interesting? If you worry about love failing, then you'll also take away the beauty from it. Love is a complicated and transformative force that may bring forth great joy, fulfillment, and progress in all of its manifestations. It is not without risk, though. An ever-present shadow is the potential for pain, and the emotional suffering that accompanies the breakup of a relationship. In the end, the choice to pursue love despite the possibility of heartache is a personal one, and it is influenced by various experiences, priorities, and values.
Avery believes love is worth it even when there's a chance of heartbreak. He believes that if you and your partner can work through that level of hurt, then that's when you know the love is real and strong. Instead of giving up you can work and see what will happen, but if you give up, you never know what it could have been.
Laila also believes it's worth it. Life is a gamble. Heartbreak is a thing that comes with life. If you get into a relationship and all you can think about is that person breaking up with you, then that's a situation you shouldn’t be in. But heartbreak is inevitable sometimes, and knowing yourself and how to deal with it when it comes will do you well.
Alex also believes that love is worth it. Life is full of risk and at the end of the day everyone can benefit from it.
Charisma is in between. She believes depending on the person and if they are able to deal with it.
My belief that love is a journey worth traveling, even if it involves the possibility of heartbreak, remains unchanged. In its purest form, love is a combination of exceptional beauty, risk, difficulty, and complexity. It is the source of all happiness because it can include all that a person could possibly want in life. Love can be beautiful, but it can never be the whole of a person's existence. This is when heartbreak hurts the most deeply. Even if love has the power to change, it shouldn't be the only source of one's happiness.
What have you learned?
Life is filled with lessons. Everyday you learn something. And every experience is a path to gain more knowledge. All of us have a history, have undoubtedly made mistakes, and are imperfect people. It's important that along with each experience, each journey, and each path there has been a lesson learned.
Avery learned how to reflect on his past issues and learn how to mature.
Lalia learned how to relax. She's usually an anxious person. She learned how to slow down and take life how it is. She also learned how to have patience. We are all people, all kids all learning at different speeds.
Alex learned that letting people in is not always bad, you need to know who to pick and when to express yourself, learned that my relationship is something very valuable to me and who I am to people around me and learned that I can be a better person when I put the effort in.
Charisma learned more about herself and other people. It's easier on her if she forgives and forgets even if it takes time. And just relax.
I learned that you need to learn how to be there for yourself. At the end of the day you are all you have. Relationships come and go; friendships come and go, but you will always be there. Learn to take care of yourself before putting other people's feelings before yours and people's true intentions will always show.