The Burden of the Strong, Independent, Black Woman
“I volunteer as tribute; we, the Black women, no longer want to claim your mantra.”
Strong, independent, Black woman. This mantra has been forced upon Black women by society since childhood and forcibly worn as a badge of honor. While the intent is for this phrase to be a compliment, the burden of living up to these misconstrued characteristics is tiring. We were raised to navigate the disrespect that we experience daily, only to be labeled as aggressive when speaking up for ourselves.
There are so many burdens we face in this world. We face the burden from single mothers in competition with their growing daughters, determined to make a woman out of them at all costs because each mother wants her daughter to be better than she is, and yet each mother was given only the nature lesson of how to suffer in silence without the nurture lesson to prepare her for what society would subject her to in the future.
We face the burden of fighting the urge to conform to a society that says Black isn’t beautiful unless it's enhanced; because the word beautiful isn’t associated with us, and society frowns upon natural hair and shapely bodies.
We face the burden of carrying a single-parent household with absentee fathers on a fixed income below the cost of living, as single handedly putting food on the table for the fruits that she multiplied becomes the only goal.
In 1962, the minister Malcom X gave a sermon to a group of Black people about the Black woman's plight. He stated, “The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman.”
Today in 2023, this sentiment still reigns true for Black women, so much so that when I shared with my fellow Black women on staff that I was writing this article, the first thing that I was asked was if I was going to incorporate this quote.
Yet the empowering difference I see now is the advancement in how we Black women are taking a stand and showing up in spaces we were once told we could not operate in.
It has been a joy to watch how the Black women in this space have used their voices to fight for change right here at Comp Sci High, especially in how we prepare our Black and brown students for a society that needs to break its own generational curses. And yet, even still, we are taking on the brunt of the backlash that is felt, as we are so used to being told to be seen and not heard.
I volunteer as tribute; we, the Black women, no longer want to claim your mantra.
It’s time we change the way we think and engage with the “Strong, Black, Independent Women” in our lives.
It is important that we understand that even the strongest individuals will need support and understanding. I make this call to action to look past those surface-level labels and truly check on the wellbeing of any Black woman you hold dear.
This is how you do it:
Pause.
Take a few minutes to check in on their well-being, leading with curiosity.
Ask: “How are you feeling? What are some challenges you are currently facing?”
By acknowledging the difficulty of what we are combating and offering genuine support, we can foster a true allyship and inclusive community. Let's turn strength into collaboration, figuring out ways we can assist with this heavy burden Black women feel to feel seen, heard, and valued. It starts with a question and a commitment to understanding the multifaceted life of a Strong, Independent, BLACK WOMAN.