Is Body Positivity in the Room Right Now? Because I Don’t Feel It.
Editor’s note: This piece mentions difficult, sensitive topics. As such, because of the serious nature of this piece, I’d like to provide you with a link to the NYC 988 hotline, which can support you if you are struggling with a similar circumstance: https://nyc988.cityofnewyork.us/en/
“Everyone is beautiful in their own way and if someone cannot see that then maybe they need to open their eyes and grow up.”
Have you ever been on Instagram and seen a picture of a beautiful woman and wish that was you? I know I have. I catch myself scrolling on Instagram or Tik Tok or even watching movies and seeing these beautiful people and wondering why I couldn't be as beautiful as them.
Throughout my life, I have noticed the constant, never-ending cycle of body shaming—something that affects people from a young age into adulthood, both men and women alike. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes people need encouragement if they aren’t in the best shape, but there are better ways to communicate that. I’ve seen that, with each generation, people seem to lose more self-respect and dignity for themselves and those around them. It makes me question: Are we doomed after Generation Z? Will respect for others and body positivity still be topics of discussion, or will they be thrown aside?
For those who aren’t familiar with the concept of body-shaming, it refers to humiliating or criticizing someone’s appearance—whether it’s their body shape or size. In other words, it’s when someone makes negative, hurtful, or degrading comments or physical actions about your body.
I am a victim of body-shaming, sexual assault, verbal abuse, and racial profiling. These experiences have shaped me, and I’ve spent my life dealing with their impacts. Now, I want to take a stand and say, enough is enough. People need to normalize body positivity, and I want my voice, as well as many others, to be heard.
Let me start by sharing my story. I am a medium-sized girl. I’m not skinny or overweight, and I deal with mild acne. I’ve struggled to meet the so-called “perfect” body standards that society imprinted in my mind. I’ve had several instances of being body-shamed, both by people and, yes, even by clothing. You’re probably wondering how clothes can body-shame you. They’re inanimate objects! Well, it happens when you think you’re a certain size, but when you try on clothes in that size, they either don’t fit or they’re too tight, supporting insecurities about your body.
One experience, in particular, hurt me deeply. I had a summer internship working with kids, and one of the requirements was that I had to wear a one-piece swimsuit at the pool. I remember thinking, “Maybe I’ll look good. I’ve been going to the gym and feeling good.” But the next day, I rushed to the nearest store, Marshalls, to buy a one-piece. After finding what I thought was the perfect swimsuit, I headed to the fitting room with high hopes. But when I tried it on, it wouldn’t even go past my hips. I felt crushed. It didn’t fit, and in my frustration, the swimsuit tore. I stood there, feeling devastated, thinking, “Am I really that fat?” It broke me down. I cried silently, trying to keep my composure as I left the store.
That moment triggered a downward spiral. I started skipping meals and lying to my friends and family about eating when I hadn’t touched food. But that was just one part of my story. I was also sexually assaulted by a student at my school who is no longer there. He would touch me inappropriately and force me into situations I didn’t want to be in. I felt too ashamed and too weak to stop him. One day, when I refused to give him what he wanted, things escalated. For my own mental health, I won’t go into details, but I remember hiding in the school’s morning line, terrified that he would hurt me. Eventually, he was held back from entering the school. Later, I was pulled out of class and told by Former-Director Gonzalez that what had happened to me was sexual assault. Hearing those words made me feel disgusting, weak, and like I wasn’t worth anything. I wondered why I hadn’t spoken up earlier, why I didn’t do anything to stop it.
But I’m not alone in my experiences. Others in the Comp Sci High community have shared similar stories, and here are some of their voices.
Student A:
One of my friends, who I share a toxic friendship with, often points out my insecurities. I’m not skinny, but he exaggerates my weight and grabs my stomach to show I have a “chub.” This behavior embarrasses me and makes me overthink my appearance. It’s affected my eating habits, where I go through cycles of eating and not eating. Over time, this has contributed to my depression and anxiety.
Student B:
In my family, it’s common to either have a big chest or big hips, and everyone comments on it. One day, my cousin rudely pointed out that I had more in one area than the other. It felt like she was belittling me, trying to make me feel less confident. However, I didn’t let it affect me long-term. It made me realize the importance of self-love. Letting other people’s opinions bring you down only makes you rot inside.
Student C:
I’ve been called names like “Patty McFatty” since pre-K. Though those words don’t hit me hard now, it doesn’t mean I don’t care. People who know me say these things jokingly, and while it doesn’t bother me, I do sometimes wonder if I should set boundaries.
Student D:
I will sometimes love my body when I put on an outfit but then sometimes when I try on different outfits, I wonder why doesn’t my body look like the model? I hated the way skirts looked on me, and I would have to force myself into them, because they didn’t fit my waist. I would wear them around my family but being comfortable enough to step outside is a different story. This summer I had a long gray summer dress and you know with gray it makes your body pop more and they asked me, “Am I pregnant.” I said no and they pointed out my stomach was coming out and they stated I shouldn’t wear clothes that make your body look like that. I went home and changed. I find myself depressed, becauseI force myself into the gym to get the body that I want, and in there I was seeing the girls and how fit they were. I dared to ask one for her workout routine and I tried following it myself and it wasn’t the same. Why do I have to put in so much work when other people are just like that?
These stories are just a few examples of the body-shaming many people experience. If you’re struggling with similar issues, know that you’re not alone. It’s important to surround yourself with people who support you. But don’t ever look for the type of encouragement and confidence out of someone else. You’re supposed to build that on your own. A compliment from someone can be helpful to regain confidence in yourself and in your self-esteem, but one thing to learn is that self-love, self-esteem, and confidence don’t come from the people around you and who they paint you to be. It comes from deep down within, never letting someone define you as a person because of their negative comments. Everyone is beautiful in their own way and if someone cannot see that then maybe they need to open their eyes and grow up.
Don’t be afraid to speak to someone you trust. And remember, as Ms. Mickey says, “Self-love is the best love.”