My 9th to 12th Grade Journey
As an individual I can say now that I have more communication skills and general understanding about the people I am centered around, all due to me taking the time and having the patience to genuinely listen and give positive support to the family and friends who needed it, which in turn helped me in my own personal development.
When I first started off as a freshman at CompSci High, I was really nervous and socially anxious because Covid-19 was a major challenge at the time. Everyone was wearing masks, so I really didn’t know what to expect coming into school in 9th grade. At the time, I was outgoing, but not as much as I am now because I was very self-conscious and scared since it was the first time I was actually going to be in a setting with students. This made me more nervous, since I was used to remote learning for months.
I tried to fit in like the rest of the students and stay under the radar so I wouldn’t be considered a weirdo or not cool to chill around until I got my own self together and really gave myself the opportunity to reveal my personality to everyone else. After a while, I realized that this idea wasn’t really working out for me so I started to take a dive into who I was personally and what I felt at my core. As soon as I started to make those changes I became more communicative with my friends I had made, which at the time was only Tyshawn, Jamil, and Sebastian. It was really fun goofing off with them in Computer Science class at the start of the year and even all the way up to the end with Mr. Gordon and Mr. Chambers as our teachers. These became some of the key memories in my freshman and sophomore experience. Hanging out with those classmates gave me the green light to feel chill and comfortable throughout the school year because there were a lot of personalities all at once sparking up, which definitely created a lot of commotion sophomore year.
It took me a great amount of time to step out of my comfort zone and to actually bring down my walls, since I was worried about feeling ashamed or awkward towards my identity and personality, and that was a pain point for me that affected my charisma and character. I didn’t really have the confidence or courage to be myself early sophomore year, but when I started to make more connections with my advisory during 10th grade, that’s when I became more open to learning about my peers and teachers even if they weren’t permanent connections.
What held me back in my early freshman and sophomore years was the fact that I was so worried of judgment when it really didn’t matter (although I did have a fear of it because Comp Sci High is a small school so rumors and lies spread faster than you can imagine). Towards the end of my 10th grade year, I had a good amount of friends and started getting into writing music with my band of friends in Mr. Mohammed's music class that quickly turned into me doing school shows with my friends Jamar, Julian, and Izaih. During that time period I was mostly in a music club after school working on album projects with my music group, which contributed to me becoming more open and determined to work on music and school projects and to put more creativity and passion into my collaborative work.
I had lots of fun moments but was still very immature and young minded back before my growth. This is why I didn’t have as much awareness as compared to now, being a full 12th grader about to graduate soon. The first step I took into becoming who I am now is learning how to reflect before giving an answer back to a question or to someone who has my best interest at heart. The second part was me branching out of my comfort zone to get honest feedback from people I never really made conversation with or encountered, because you learn more about yourself when building fresh relationships. A person I never really had any connection with was Mahamaudou, and over time we had conversations about life and the society we are growing up in which started in early 12th grade and now when we see one another we are able to have calm intellectual talks with no problem.
Before I gained the wisdom and maturity I have now, I would have never had gratitude for the conversations I am having now because I was always on the go and I can say now that this was foolish. It’s important to socialize and be empathetic towards all perspectives from different points of view. As an individual I can say now that I have more communication skills and general understanding about the people I am centered around, all due to me taking the time and having the patience to genuinely listen and give positive support to the family and friends who needed it, which in turn helped me in my own personal development. My overall performance as a person shifted because I wanted to see the positive changes that I thought I could never achieve, and that’s what gave me the motivation and determination to be the best version of myself and also to strive to be the successful image I view myself as — the strong whole hearted person I am behind the scenes of my character I show in public. This accomplishment in becoming who I am was not only to show myself that I am capable of breaking barriers and getting to the next level in my personal life journey, but to also demonstrate that anyone else can do it as well if they put their all into it and don't give up — even in those moments where you feel weak and alone, because that’s what makes you stronger and wiser, prompting you for future life challenges that are up ahead.