Think Like a Man? Think Like a Woman?
“Growing up, we have been unintentionally exposed to the stereotypes placed on people in relationships. Movies, shows, books, friends, and family members are all ways that these stereotypes and expectations have been passed down. Just because all these stereotypes are exposed to us does not mean we have to acknowledge them or fit into them.”
Think like a Man? No…
Think like a woman? No...
Think like both?
When it comes to relationships, society truly has a belief that there are specific roles for men, and specific roles for women, but is that how it should really work? This topic was inspired by a Tyler Perry movie that was based on a group of women reading a book called Think Like a Man to help them think more like a man then a woman.
At the end of the day, it was obvious that it is not about thinking like a man or a woman but rather about thinking like both. Just because you are a certain gender in a relationship doesn't mean you need to keep up with the stereotypes and “relationship rules” that come with that gender.
When you're in a relationship it should be equal playing fields, because in reality that's how you get the best and most healthy relationships in life.
In our article, we will be taking a deep dive on how women and men think about stereotypes in their relationship. We want to compare and contrast how they think to later prove that having the true understanding on how women and men think is what makes the equal playing fields and probably a truly great relationship .
Stereotypes
A stereotype is a widely held but oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person. There's different types of stereotypes all over — there's some about race, religion, and more, but the one that this article will focus on is gender stereotypes. To be honest we might not think of stereotypes as such a big deal or something that we actually go through, but just because we normalized it in society doesn't mean we don't go through it or it's less important.
Our article might not fully make sense to you but our goal is to show both sides and have people think like both genders in a way. The first part will be about men — what men think based on our questions and how women feel men would answer these questions.
We interviewed a man and woman, and asked them several questions from their POV and also from the opposite gender’s POV. Me and Arnel will also be giving our options based on the questions and responses. Now let's start thinking like a man!
Think Like a Man
For this section we wanted Kenneth to give the man’s point of view on this topic, but we also asked him to try and think like a woman and have a woman's perspective after having his own.
The first question we asked Kenneth was “What are stereotypes you feel you have to play in your relationship?”
To be honest his answer is something you might expect. He felt that in his relationship he had no choice but to play as the main protector and provider. In his eyes he felt that in this generation women look for a man that can be a provider no matter their age. He said this is not the case with all women but is the case with many,
When it came to this topic from a female and male point of view Me and Arnel completely agreed that this perspective is still valued in our society. In our generation on a daily basis you see songs, videos, posts and more downplaying any male that can’t buy a female whatever they want whenever they want. When it comes to this topic even teachers in the school play a role by feeding this idea into students' heads because this is a stereotype that’s been going on forever.
Although in society, men are often seen as the provider, that does not mean a woman can’t get in on her own and should just feed off a man forever. Let’s not keep fitting into the idea of a woman that cooks and cleans and has a man.
Our second question was “Do you feel all stereotypes about men relate to you or are correct?”
His answer was kind of short and sweet. He didn't think all stereotypes about males were true because he truly couldn’t even think of any stereotypes men put into society .
Our third question we asked was “Do you feel that stereotypes have a negative or positive impact on one’s relationship in this generation?” Kenneth felt in this generation that stereotypes have a negative impact based on the many stereotypes that were stated in his first answer, but when it came to his relationship and relationships overall he felt that if both roles understand the stereotypes that are brought upon them, then it should be less negative. He felt that stereotypes have a negative impact because they are never unpacked and reckoned with as stereotypes.
That was the last question we asked Kenneth, but we also kind of wanted Kenneth to think in a woman's view.
He felt as though a lot of women probably feel pressured when first getting into a relationship to have intercourse, in this generation he felt that a lot of males fit into the stereotype of just looking to have sex with a women, and that if a woman doesn’t return that desire, then that woman becomes all the names you can call someone in the book. He felt like this stereotype completely comes from men that make it true rather than men who show a woman that sex is not the only thing and most important thing on their mind.
Now it’s time to unpack a woman’s perspective!
Think Like a Woman
For this section we interviewed Emilie to get a woman’s point of view on this same topic. We feel as though it is crucial that we not only hear a man’s viewpoint but also a woman's viewpoint. Especially since in the society we live in today, women are the main targets of stereotypes in a relationship setting.
The first thing we asked her was if there were any stereotypes she felt applied to women, and if so, why and how do they it make her feel. She responded saying that she does not feel as though she has to act as a stereotype or change her behavior. She went on to say that people should be allowed to be themselves especially with your significant other. Your behavior and the way you interact with others might have to change, but overall she can't say that she can relate to any stereotypes that society pushes forward.
The next thing we asked was if she felt that in this present generation gender based stereotypes have a big affect on relationships. She said that based on what's shown on today's media, the stereotypes about women are true, however it doesn't relate to her. She adds by saying it's shown in society that women are either supposed to stick around or “hold a man down,” and overall play the Bonnie role to a man’s Clyde. Also, that a man is supposed to be a provider and bank in a relationship, or have everything going for them when you first meet them. But, she feels like you don't need to be anyone’s Bonnie to their Clyde, and as a woman you should always have your own things going on before having expectations you yourself cannot currently meet.
Author’s Idea
To be honest we could understand where both students were coming from, but after we had our interviews we had one lingering question! We wondered why the questions we asked related way more to one student then the other.
Both students took a step back and were like “HUH?” when we asked the questions because this topic is not something we think about often. But when it came to answering the questions, you can tell that both people had different views. Kenneth was able to kind of give both sides of how this generation thinks when it comes to relationships, while Emilie gave the woman’s side but shocked us by agreeing with what is said about women.
Each student has their own views, their own relationship, and their own way of thinking when it comes to these stereotypes and that’s the beautiful thing! Their responses were so different yet you can kind of get the same perspective out of it. We understand their stereotypes and that our generation is cursed by them. But we also understand that not everyone fixates on their stereotypes or cares for this stereotype.
Even though we feel we could go on all day about this topic, it's time to wrap up our article!
Growing up, we have been unintentionally exposed to the stereotypes placed on people in relationships. Movies, shows, books, friends, and family members are all ways that these stereotypes and expectations have been passed down. Just because all these stereotypes are exposed to us does not mean we have to acknowledge them or fit into them.
So now it's time for you and I to take time to unlearn these habits and expectations we have on ourselves and others. Let's start to be better not just for us but for our past, present, and future significant others.