When Did What a Woman Wears Become Your Decision?

Sluts. Hoes. Birds. Whores.  These are some of the most common words people use to describe women today, often as a direct judgment of how a woman decides to dress. Clothes: they are items, accessories, identities and part of fashion. What is the right way to wear the clothing on our bodies? Often women feel discouraged by what they wear because they think others will judge them, and they are completely right. People have made society to be a place where women are called names, and much more, so why would women feel comfortable wearing what they want to wear when they are always being criticized?

Women have also been shamed because of their body types; when they’re too thick and wear something “short,” it’s attention seeking, but then when they’re skinny or small, all of a sudden a short skirt is fine. Why is that? 

There have come times in this school environment when young women have been flagged for wearing something as simple as sweat shorts, and literally when compared to some young men, it’s the same size and length. Suddenly there’s a shift in how people view things between both genders. So, we want to ask the question: is the problem really what women wear, or how society perceives and polices what they wear? In a world where women are judged and labeled for what they wear, the real question comes up: Is it about the clothing of a woman, or the societal expectations imposed on their clothing?

In order to think about this more deeply, we want to discuss this issue within four categories: different bodies, different genders, different standards, and different settings.

Different Bodies

Are clothes that women wear really shorter than the “established limits,” or is that just what people want us to think? Who gave anyone the right to determine the right length our clothing should be in order to be accepted  in a specific environment? Everyone wears clothes but then there becomes this dilemma of it not being the right fit on that person. Was wearing what we want ever that serious? Everyday, I see young women wearing clothes that are a little bit shorter than the societal “limit,” and I watch them get flagged for it. And I also notice that bigger girls are often persecuted more in the school environment than slimmer girls for what they wear.

Women are often objectified at Comp Sci High and it’s to a point where no one wants to speak up anymore because they feel like no change is going to happen. Quite frankly, the adult women in the environment often have so much to say on what young women wear. Is this because they want to protect us? Or is it because they already know how women get viewed for their bodies? For example Emilie Davis, who has often been “dress coded,” expresses that, though the adult’s intentions are pure, they don’t seem to enforce these intentions in the same way between both body types. She feels that, because she’s curvier, she seems more grown, so the staff are quicker to shut down any perceived “violations.” When doing that, they wait outside the bathroom for her to get fully changed into the right clothing before she’s let back into the school environment. Meanwhile, slimmer girls do not seem to be monitored as much; they are just asked “ Is that uniform,” or told  “that’s not uniform," and let off with a warning. The question is: why should there be a difference in how girls with different body types are treated?

Different Genders and Different Standards

Men and women often wear similar styles of clothing, but it’s more likely for girls to be flagged than boys because the attention is more on them. Some of the young women at the school expressed that the staff doesn’t hold young men accountable as much as they do young women. The young men at Comp Sci High are able to get away with a lot more. 

For example, there was a situation that occurred when a young woman had her shoulders out, and so did a young man, but when the young woman was approached she was told that it was prohibited and she needed to cover up. As the day proceeded, the young man was flagged not even once; instead he was praised. The young woman felt targeted in a way and that there was inequality in the school space. The young man was not flagged until she spoke up. This is one example out of many situations that help to illustrate why women get angry when they are told to take what they are wearing off or that they should cover up because “too much” is showing. Stop and think. If you are a young woman reading this, or even an adult woman, have you ever been in a situation when you felt you were held to a different standard than men? How did it make you feel?

Some men see young women as walking creatures, who only wear clothes so that men can find pleasure in looking at them.  Why does society not think that a woman can wear something for her, and only her? Can I not wear something that’s pleasing to me? The idea of women being too inappropriate comes mostly from the men's gaze. Why do women have to be  presentable to only help men? 

Women nowadays are used to being sexualized, but when they wear something too attractive now, they’ll hear: “cover up, you’re showing too much.” Why is it the woman's responsibility to manage the desire and actions of others? Men are looking at women as their next target rather than as humans who want to dress in something that compliments them. We live in a society where it’s always the woman's fault. In our school halls this occurs more than twice a day. Outside you see the eyes following a woman, or you hear the comments like “yo girl,” “ma you look good,” or “that thang thanging,” or “gyat.” 

We should change how we teach our boys to become better men,  encouraging them to be more self aware and respectful to boundaries. Not objectifying every woman they see, rather than complimenting and acknowledging their beauty. Society has, however, put women in this position. Because of this they make uniform and specific attire for different events. We need to create a society where people feel comfortable to express themselves, where regular standards are not a goal but a reality.

Different Settings

Clothing seems to carry more weight than fabric: when did where we wear our clothes become such a serious consequence? Wearing them to parties, birthdays, interviews, school and more places.  The regular saying “there's a time and a place”. But is there really? Should there be? While writing this essay, I have been told: “this should not be worn in school”. But I don’t think anyone is actually worried about what I'm wearing,  just the way it's coming off.  Maybe even the way it makes them feel. Time and a place affects what a woman wears, belittles her confidence, and adultifies her already. She is either being put in something that does not feel right to her, or needing to dress up over her age. There should be a “wear what you express yourself with”. The time and place concept should be hidden.