What Happens When One Is Missing?
“Not only did I feel different, I was treated differently because some believed I would become a statistic. Another number added to the system, a son paying for the sins of his father.”
We all know the stereotypical role of a man and woman in parenting. Many in society today believe that a man's job is to protect and provide for his family and women are seen to stay home and take care of the children. But it's not that simple. Parents are way more important than that, and their jobs as parents are way more complex than a lot of people may believe.
Yes, we all know that parents are important, but what happens when one is missing? Kids from single-parent families are more likely to face emotional and behavioral health challenges like aggression or engaging in high-risk behaviors when compared to peers raised by married parents. I, who have been raised in a single parent home, can speak on my experience with an absent father. I wished that my dad was there for my football games. Or even when I started talking to girls, but for me and others in single parent homes, that's the unfortunate reality. When I was a kid, my father not being there really made me angry, because I would see some kids' fathers come pick them up from music concerts and basketball games, but mine couldn't even show up for a parent teacher conference, which made me feel unwanted and different from the others. Not only did I feel different, I was treated differently because some believed I would become a statistic. Another number added to the system, a son paying for the sins of his father.
As a result, I was always great in school and loved learning. But I was also very angry at the world and myself which led to me being violent with everyone and everything around me. Inside I knew that wasn't me, but at a point in time I started to believe that's all I can be: a misfit, a juvenile delinquent, a mistake, or just another kid chasing his father and just miserable all the time. My mama always said that, in life, in order to be successful you must be prepared but who can prepare for the wrath of the world if you think the world already believes that you're just another failure.
I can say that all children need both parents in their life. Why? Because there are some things that a father can't teach that a mother can. And there are some things a mother can't teach that a father can. A child needs both perspectives; without both, that child will suffer.
The presence of both parents in a child's life is a vital component of their overall well-being and development. The influence of a mother and a father, each contributing their unique qualities, nurtures emotional resilience, social competence, and cognitive growth in children. And in society today, children need to be able to socially adapt to the environment around them or else it will just eat them up. I argue that the impact of a single parent household makes it hard for some, but not all, children because they lack the motivation and perspective from both of their parents to do well for themselves. This influences them to make bad decisions that will likely ruin their academic, social, and economic lives in the future.
You ever hear the saying, more is caught than taught? Children are like sponges. They pick up everything and anything they see, good or bad. And they take what they learn from childhood to adulthood. Without the proper guidance, children who are negatively affected by a single parent household don't know how to assess or face life challenges when they are presented to them.