Multiple Lenses of the Same World
“Why have we created this feeling I had as a 10th grader into a habit at our school?”
I remember being in my 10th Grade Biology class. I remember raising my hand and answering a question. And then, thinking nothing of it, my day went by and I found out later that a boy in that class was talking about me and my body in an offensive way. At that moment, I felt upset and annoyed. What did I do for this to happen? I took that information in a negative way. I wanted to say: why are you talking about me in that way. Multiple people came up to me and were just telling me what they heard. I remember telling my closest friend at the time about the situation and they disregarded my feelings.
I felt lonely. I felt like I couldn't go to a teacher and tell them what was going on. Eventually, though, teachers found out about the situation and one of them pulled me out of class. “Why didn’t you come and tell me about it,” they said.
I told her I felt like the teachers were not going to help in this instance. I felt like I would've been the problem, like I would have been an inconvenience. Why have we created this feeling I had as a 10th grader into a habit at our school? Why have we allowed this to happen for so long? Why have we made it so that black girls don’t always feel heard? During my time at CSH, I’ve seen the culture that has been created here. As a black girl who studies here and has done a lot of community work, I know there are things that are very flawed with the way CSH handles certain circumstances. I interviewed 2 students from each grade to really take a look at how, as students, we look through the lens of an average high school. I have experienced this and have seen the way the school handles problems. We all go through different obstacles and challenges that should be acknowledged. And this is where it starts.
I started with the Sophomores, Brianna Steele and Chassidy Osborne. They brought up topics such as how their fellow peers who are not black get treated better than them. They brought up examples of how, when they wear a skirt or a crop top, they will quickly get demanded to change their clothes, but when other students who are not black do it, people do not say anything. They didn't feel as if their repercussions were being equally handed out.
Then I moved on to the Seniors; since they've been here the longest, I assumed that they would know what issues they have seen happen with the school. I spoke to Jaria Fofana and Mahogany Hodge, who both spoke about the emotional aspects of being in black in this space. Jaria has had moments when she has felt she cannot speak her feelings all the time, particularly to adults in the space. The school doesn’t intentionally make black and brown students feel unheard or unseen, but it can have that impact. It is a problem that young brown and black students feel this way. In a community that is supposed to uplift students, it is a problem that young black girls do not feel as if they are prioritized.
“White Women Tears” is another thing that happens in our community. “White Women Tears” is a strategy that is used to silence people of color. It refers to both metaphorical and literal ways that white women use their vulnerability and fragility to be racist. This tactic allows the person to get whatever they want in the situation. This tactic has been used to cause real harm because it causes the person who is of a darker complexion to feel as if they aren't being heard. Mahogany talked about how the school picks and chooses what is acceptable when it comes to the dress code. Students at the school seem to get “dress coded” for many different and inconsistent reasons relating to their race and body type. Consistency is what students want, and if the school is not consistent with its policy enforcement, students will feel that the school isn't being fair.
Surprisingly, the Juniors I spoke to, Fatoumata Diawara and Alyma Sylla, did not really see people getting treated unfairly, and they didn’t feel as if they were being treated differently from their peers. Alyma said that she sees her peers get dress coded, but it's not something that she feels is a big problem. The same thing applied for Fatoumata, another Junior who has seen her friends get dress-coded. Hearing this was surprising, because it showed that the culture of the Juniors wasn't the same as the Seniors or the Sophomores.
The Freshmen also had the same response as the Juniors. I interviewed Sheila Ampong and Tokeyo Sookhai. They have seen people get dress coded, but it wasn't as if those students were being targeted; it was actually their friends being out of uniform. I felt that hearing this was surprising in a good way, because that means something was being done consistently to prevent that. I know in my Freshmen year, I was seeing a lot of things that were unusual but to hear that the Freshmen were not feeling as if they were being targeted actually made my heart melt.
Now, I do believe that should be regulations and rules because such things do keep the school in order. But I just feel like those rules should be fair. The students make up the school, so the moment the students feel that there is some sort of injustice, it will create a division within the school itself. The discussion about how the school treats both black students and those who are not black caused this feeling in my head that students were being targeted. I feel like there has been change, though. I'm happy that the Freshmen haven't felt that they were being targeted because of the color of their skin.
However, there is a lot of work that needs to be done restoring the harm that has been done. If the school is really trying to lean into that “Student Led'' environment, I think we should incorporate more of the student council or current students's opinions about what they think they the school should work on when it comes to the uniform and other policies. And lastly, the teachers who read this essay should reflect on their time as teachers here and think about the way they have contributed to the student culture and how they left an impact — positive or negative — on the students.